Choosing gifts

Kids should get practice thinking about what others may like, how to find it and working within a budget

By Holly Bennett

Does this sound familiar? "OK, kids, I was out shopping and I picked up a few things that you could give people as presents. Sandy, how would you like to give Grandma this jigsaw puzzle? You know she likes to do a puzzle at Christmas. And your dad wanted to read this book – I thought you and Callie could go together and give him that."

It's an efficient way to get the shopping done, but Today's Parent columnist and parent educator Kathy Lynn doesn't think this approach teaches kids much about the spirit of giving. "Kids should be choosing what they are buying for people," she says. "It should come from them."

It's true that their choices won't always be as, shall we say, appropriate as what we might choose on their behalf. "It doesn't matter," insists Lynn. "They're kids, people understand that. What matters is that they get practice thinking about what another person would like, trying to find something they think is perfect and working within a budget."

Lynn also thinks it's a good idea to have children contribute some of their own allowance money to their gifts, even if it's just a small portion. "Parents could start talking to kids around September about putting aside a little money for Christmas because that's what we do, too, if we're smart – otherwise we pay for it through the winter and spring."

What about making gifts? Handmade gifts are lovely, says Lynn, but children still need the opportunity to shop for some of their presents: "It's a consumer world and kids need to learn how to budget and buy things."

Unfortunately, it's getting harder to find a nice gift for just a few dollars. Kids usually know where to find good stuff for their siblings or best friends; it's the adult gifts that stymie them. Is there a better place than a dollar store to look? You bet.

Originally published in Today's Parent, December 2003